


And if my wishes came true.

by WeirdV



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Break Up, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Captain America Steve Rogers/Modern Bucky Barnes, Getting Together, Internalized Homophobia, Kinda, M/M, Make Up, Modern Bucky Barnes, Shrunkyclunks, Steve Rogers Has Issues, and has trouble unlearning that lesson, but i'm adding it just in case, closeted steve rogers, falls madly in love, folklore inspired, meets bucky, more like, not sure if that's true, steve has been taught that he has to hide, steve rogers is a martyr, that nobody else can do it, thinks he has to save the world
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:21:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25535770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeirdV/pseuds/WeirdV
Summary: Bucky met Steve Rogers when he got his arm fixed in Tony’s workshop.At least, that’s what Steve tells him. Bucky was pretty out of it.They meet for a second time in an elevator. Not Stark tower. It’s in some fancy building, Bucky is going to the top floor to meet up with his sister for lunch. Steve is going to the top floor to get a suit made for some fancy party.Becca tells him the next day that Captain America came to the shop and she helped him pick out fabric and colours for his suit.Bucky doesn’t tell her he got his number in his phone and plans to go for coffee.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 5
Kudos: 143





	And if my wishes came true.

**Author's Note:**

> The only thing I wanna do  
> Is make it up to you  
> So I showed up at your party

_The only thing I wanna do_  
_Is make it up to you_  
_So I showed up at your party_

Bucky met Steve Rogers when he got his arm fixed in Tony’s workshop.

At least, that’s what Steve tells him. Bucky was pretty out of it.

They meet for a second time in an elevator. Not Stark tower. It’s in some fancy building, Bucky is going to the top floor to meet up with his sister for lunch. Steve is going to the top floor to get a suit made for some fancy party.

Becca tells him the next day that Captain America came to the shop and she helped him pick out fabric and colours for his suit.

Bucky doesn’t tell her he got his number in his phone and plans to go for coffee.

He doesn’t expect anything of it, if he’s honest. The guy seems lonely, like he could use a friend. And Bucky’s definitely been told he’s a good friend before. That’s his mindset when he meets up with Steve Rogers a week later. They’ve been texting sporadically and there’s been some selfies exchanged.

One memorable night even a phone call.

“Hi’ Steve smiles when they meet up, his eyes lighting up, and he leans forward to kiss Bucky’s cheek. It takes him aback, suddenly reassessing every interaction they’ve had so far.

“Hi” he replies, returning the smile, “So, how familiar are you with Brooklyn?”

“Ah, well” he grins, “I knew it like the back of my hand back in the twenties. But I’m guessing a lot has changed since?”

“Yeah” he replies, “Well, a lot but not that much. Most buildings might look familiar, but they’re not looking the same anymore.”

“I figured, I’ve been wanting to go by my old apartment, but I’m not sure what it looks like now.”

“I wouldn’t know” he smiles, “Apart from some pictures, the history books keep very quiet about your life before the serum.”

“Yeah, I kinda expected that” he laughs, “Can’t call the guy an American hero if he constantly got into fights and had to outrun the police on a few occasions. And by outrun, I mean hide.”

“We would’ve been great friends” he snorts, “I’ve been in lockup a few times.”

“Have you now?”

“Yeah, where do you think I met Tony Stark?” he says, making Steve laugh out loud, “I got arrested, handcuffed, and thrown into a cell with him, and then he saw my arm and I swear he got heart eyes.”

“Wait, he didn’t make it?”

“No, that’s a whole other story” he sighs, “Let’s just say my time in the army was interesting, and being a science experiment for Russians was even more interesting.”

“What? Seriously?” Steve’s eyes going wide, “Holy shit.”

“It’s cool” he shrugs, “in a way I signed up for it, but they didn’t really give me all the information. But you know what, let’s move onto another subject. I feel like trauma is maybe a third date topic.”

He doesn’t mean to say date, but Steve doesn’t correct him. He just smiles and agrees, and then they walk towards a local coffee shop that someone recommended to Steve.

That’s how it starts.

Going for coffee.

On the way back to Bucky’s apartment, Steve hesitantly takes his hand. When they get to his building, Bucky gathers all his courage and asks if he wants to come up.

Steve accepts.

He doesn’t leave until the next morning.

They watch movies and talk, sitting close to each other on Bucky’s second hand ikea couch.

“I wish I could stay” Steve mutters softly as he’s standing by the door the following morning at 7am, leaning against the frame and staring into Bucky’s eyes.

It all happens really fast.

“I wanna kiss you” he says, still staring at Bucky. Bucky takes the invite, leans forward and softly kisses the man standing before him.

It’s a soft peck, a lot of promises and hopes poured into one kiss. Chaste and innocent.

But it sets something alight inside him, and Steve seems to be trembling a little when he pulls back.

“Is it you?” Bucky asks, not sure where the words come from, “Was I just waiting for you all those years?”

“God I hope so” Steve says, his phone starts ringing again and he ignores is, “I will call you. Soon. Text you. See you. Anything. Everything.”

“Soon” Bucky says, “I promise.”

[…]

It all happens so fast. But it feels so right, he can’t explain it.

Before he realizes Steve is spending most nights at his place. They’re two months along and officially exclusive. Bucky deletes grindr from his phone.

“You are amazing” Steve mutters to him. It’s a cold winter day, they’re lying on Bucky’s bed, tangled together under a blanket. It’s almost noon, but they’ve got nowhere to be.

“How did I get so lucky” Bucky replies softly, pressing his lips to Steve’s temple and inhaling his scent.

“Ah well” Steve smiles at him, “I’ve always been a sucker for dark haired men with a good sense of humor.”

“I want to ask you something” Bucky says, “But I don’t know if I’ll like the answer.”

“You won’t know if you don’t ask.”

“Your colleagues” he says, “When you’re with me – where do they think you are? Do they know?”

“They have assumptions” he says, closing his eyes, “They know there’s someone important in my life right now. They just – think it’s Sharon.”

“Sharon?”

“Peggy’s niece” he shudders, “She’s a nice girl – but I. It’s not like that.”

“Are you going to tell them the truth?” he asks, “Someday?”

“I want to” he admits, “I’ve tried. But hiding has become a second nature to me. And I can’t seem to get the words out.”

“What was it like? Not being able to be yourself?”

“It was – normal?” he shrugs, “Clandestine meetings in alleyways. Not sure if you were interpreting advances correctly. And then – when I changed – nothing anymore. Everyone knew who I was. Knew my name.”

“I can’t even imagine” he whispers, “I’m glad that you’re here now, with me. Free.”

“I love you” he sighs, pulling Bucky in for a passionate kiss, “So much.”

“Thank god” he smiles, “I love you too.”

[…]

“You’ve been out a lot lately” Tony remarks one night. They’re all together, having dinner on Pepper’s insistence.

“I know” Steve says, eyes firmly on his plate. He tried to get out of the dinner party, but Bucky insisted.

“They’re your friends, Stevie” he’d said, “They miss you.”

And he couldn’t quite say no to Pepper.

“Where’ve you been hiding?” Pepper asks, managing not to sound too nosy.

“Clint says you have gotten yourself a lover” Natasha says, “He said I can’t follow you, but I’m getting more curious every day.”

“I – I have met someone” he says, eyes still on his plate, swallowing.

This is the perfect moment to tell them. To come out.

He takes a deep breath, ready to spit it out. To tell them about Bucky, amazing, beautiful, Bucky.

And then a short alarm sounds and the AI voice comes on the speakers.

“ _Mister Stark. A James Barnes is here to see you, says his arm is malfunctioning.”_

Tony stands up instantly, so does Steve.

“I have to get this” Tony says, glancing at Steve, “Cap, you okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll come with you” he says, “In case you need assistance.”

“Uh, sure” he frowns, clearly confused.

Steve can hear the screaming from halfway down the hall, and he and Tony start running towards it.

Bucky is on an examination table, writhing in pain.

“What happened?”

“Wall collapsed” he forces out, “Held it up, was a kid under it. Something snapped.”

Steve is on his knees, next to him, softly sushing him and stroking his hair.

“I need Bruce” Tony says as he grabs some stuff from his work table, “Steve! Get Bruce.”

He doesn’t react, too focused on Bucky.

“Steve!” he repeats, turning around and finding Steve, and Bucky, staring at each other.

“Oh” he sighs, asking Jarvis to page Bruce instead.

He gives Bucky something for the pain, it works pretty quickly because he’s out within seconds.

“Can you help him?” Steve asks, eyes still fixated on Bucky.

“Yeah, cap” he says softly, “I can.”

He’s already working on the arm, scanning it and running analysis.

“How did you meet?” Tony asks.

“Elevator” he says, “When you made me get that tailored suit. His sister works there.”

“She introduced you?”

“She doesn’t know” he says, voice soft and barely audible, “Nobody knows.”

“You know things are different now, right? Times have changed.”

“I know” Steve says, tearing his gaze away from Bucky and looking up at Tony, “But I haven’t. I’m still that same kid, who’s been taught to hide. Taught to keep it a secret, or you’ll get thrown in jail. If you’re lucky. Don’t say a thing, and you’ll live. It’s not that easy to just let that instinct go.”

The machine running the analysis bleeps and Tony smiles, “See, simple little thing, easily fixed.”

“Why was he in so much pain?” Steve asks, gaze back on Bucky.

“The Russians, they wired it into his nervous system. That’s why he’s able to use it as a normal arm” he explains, “He signed up for the experiment, but they never disclosed that bit of information. He couldn’t back out.”

“Can you – could you remove it? If he asked you too?”

“I can’t” Tony says, “You’d need a neurosurgeon, and they would never accept. It’s a miracle he survived the first surgery.”

“Oh” he’s stroking Bucky’s hair, softly carding his fingers through his.

“This is a fluke, Steve” Tony says, “I don’t know how it happened, but I will make sure it never happens again.”

“Okay” Steve nods, then takes a deep breath, “Can you – not tell anyone? About us? Please?”

“It’s not my story to tell” Tony says, “Okay – I’m going to wake him up now.”

“Okay” Steve nods, holding his breath as Bucky slowly regains consciousness.

“Hi” he whispers as Bucky looks at him, “you feeling better?”

“Yeah” he says, “Sorry for ruining your dinner party.”

“Eh, food wasn’t that great” Steve replies with a grin.

“Hey” Tony reacts, “I take offense to that.”

“Thanks for helping me out Tony” Bucky says, a grateful smile on his face.

“No problem dude” he says, “I’ve been working on some updates with Shuri, maybe it’s best we push through on those. There’s a lot of old tech in this thing that needs replacing.”

“I can’t just take time off from work” Bucky sighs, “I’ll see what I can do.”

“We can work something out Buck” Steve says, “You have to look after yourself.”

“Ugh, don’t give me that look” Bucky says, rolling his eyes, “You know I can’t resist that one, you little shit.”

“Oh god, you guys are so mushy” Tony laughs, “Adorable.”

Bucky freezes, not sure how to react. Did Steve tell him?

“You were screaming in pain, Buck” Steve says, “My distress was pretty obvious.”

“I’m sorry for worrying you” he sighs, “Honestly, I don’t know what happened. They were demolishing a building, didn’t check the site properly. Something went wrong and I – I had to help.”

“I know” Steve says, leaning forward to kiss Bucky’s cheek.

“It felt good” he says, “Helping people.”

“I know” Steve repeats, “You’re a kind fella, Bucky. It’s why I love you.”

“Oh” Tony stares at him, mouth open and eyes wide, “Oh. You’re serious about this aren’t you?”

“Yeah, Tony” he says, “I am.”

“I’m happy for you dude” he smiles, “You’re good to go, James.”

“Can you make up an excuse for me, Tony?” Steve asks, “I’m going to make sure he gets home okay.”

“Yeah, sure” he smiles, “Just – try to find a way to tell them? They care, they want you happy.”

[…]

“Oh, come on Bucky” Becca sighs, “I haven’t seen you in almost a month. Lunch tomorrow?”

“I can do that” he says, “I’ll come to yours. You working tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’ll text you with the details” she says, “Can’t wait.”

[…]

Bucky knows he’s lucky that he gets along so well with this sister. They talk at least a few times a week, but lately a lot of his free time has been going to Steve. There haven’t been any missions lately. It’s been quiet, and they’ve been taking advantage of that.

“So, anything fun planned for the weekend?” Becca asks, taking a sip from the water and smiling at her brother.

“Not sure yet” he shrugs, “Depends on Stevie’s schedule. We wanted to check out the new exhibition at the museum.”

“Stevie?” she grins, “I fucking knew it. You met someone.”

“Yeah” he smiles weakly, “I wanted to introduce you, but he’s not out yet.”

“Oh, Bucky” she sighs, “Are you sure about him? You know what happened last time you dated a closeted guy.”

“It’s not the same situation” Bucky says, trying not to sound annoyed. Because she’s right, he’s had some bad experiences dating closeted guys. One of those relationship ended with having to get a restraining order against him.

“How did you meet?”

“Remember when we last met up for lunch?” he asks, “I met him then, in the elevator.”

“One of our customers?” she asks, Bucky nods, “Huh, so he’s wealthy enough for a tailor made suit.”

“Pretty sure his friend made him get it though” Bucky says.

“How serious is it?” she asks, setting her glass down.

“I was thinking about showing him my project” he says, making Becca cough.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah” he smiles, “Can’t wait for you to meet him. Soon, hopefully.”

[…]

“Where are we going?” Steve asks, they’ve been driving for a while now, following Bucky on his motorcycle and talking through headphones.

“You’ll see” Bucky says, “Almost there.”

They turn the corner, and Bucky starts to slow down, stopping in front of a small house.

He parks his bike on the driveway, taking off his helmet. Steve follows his example.

“What’s this” he asks, following Bucky to the doorstep, “Are we meeting up with someone?”

“So” Bucky smiles, “When my parents passed, they left us some money. It wasn’t much, but I decided to invest. In a little house, needed some work.”

“This is yours?” Steve asks, watching as Bucky unlocks the door.

“Yeah” he leads Steve inside, into the hallway, to the living room. It’s mostly empty, only a few pieces of furniture. Pieces he’d found in second hand shops and refurbished. Every item chosen with care and love to execute the vision he had for his home.

“Wow” he looks around, the fireplace, the windowsills, the sanded down wooden stairs, “Bucky, this is amazing.”

“Thanks” he smiles, and then takes a deep breath, “It’s almost finished. I was wondering, when it is. When I move in here. Maybe you’d move in here with me?”

“I” Steve looks at him, his smile gone, and a hesitant and uncertain expression on his face.

“Stevie?”

“I – I want to” he says, swallowing harshly, “I just – what if they need me?”

“What?” Bucky stares at him, not sure what is happening. He feels like he just got punched in the gut.

“I live at the tower for a reason” he says, “I can’t just. Move.”

“What’s the point?” he says, he’s shaking, and swallowing back the bile rising in his throat, “What are we even doing Stevie?”

“What do you mean?” Steve looks confused.

“Is this the most I’ll ever get being with you?” he asks, staring into his eyes, “A few nights at my place, an occasional date? Hoping you’ll come home alive after another mission, waiting at home without any information? Hiding in the shadows?”

“Bucky, I”

“It’s not enough, Stevie” he says, “Maybe it is now, but it’s not forever. I need to know we’re going somewhere, Stevie. I want a future. I want a husband, I want kids, I want the whole fucking thing! White picket fence, two kids, growing old.”

“I –.” he doesn’t say anything.

“Oh god” he takes a step backwards, “I’ve been so stupid. Holy fuck, Becca was right. I – you should go. Please.”

“Bucky, come on” Steve takes a step towards him, trying to figure out what just happened.

“No! No Stevie. I can’t do this” he says, taking a step back, “Not again. Please. Please don’t make this any harder.”

“Okay” he nods, looking a bit subdued, “I’ll go. I’ll call you.”

“Don’t”

[…]

Bucky calls in sick the next day, calls his sister.

She comes over, and he tells her everything.

“You were right” he says, “About dating a closeted guy.”

“I’m so sorry Bucky” she sighs, pulling him into a hug as he starts sobbing.

“I really thought this was it, you know” he says, “I’m never going to find a guy like this again.”

“Oh, come on, don’t be ridiculous, Bucky” she says, “He probably wasn’t as perfect as you think he was. Love makes blind.”

“Becca” he says, “Steve Rogers. Fucking Captain America. He was perfect.”

She freezes, “Are you fucking shitting me?” she asks, pushing his back and holding his shoulders, searching his face, “Holy shit.”

“Yeah” he says, wiping away his tears with his sleeve, “Fuck my life.”

“No, come on bro” she gives him a weak smile, “He was definitely too old for you.”

Bucky snorts and lets his sister lead him to the couch to sit down, “He called me doll” Bucky says, “And Sweatheart. His best guy. I love him so much.”

“I know” she says, letting him rest his head on her shoulder, “I know.”

[…]

His life returns to something more or less like it was before meeting Steve. Except every free moment is now spent on working at the house. Restoring furniture, slowly moving over his books, his photo albums, clothes he doesn’t need until summer comes.

It’s three weeks further when he’s due for another check-up at Tony.

He catches Steve, further along the hallway, staring at him. But he doesn’t walk up to him, doesn’t say anything. He’s not sure if he wants him to, maybe part of him. Maybe he wants Steve to run to him, sweep him into his arms and kiss him, maybe just one more time. Maybe he wants Steve to throw down the shield, and say he’ll give it all up for Bucky.

He would never ask that. Or expect it.

He steps into the elevator and meets up with Tony.

“So, what happened?” Tony asks, “Last time I saw you, you were madly in love. Three weeks later and I’ve got Steve walking around like a kicked puppy.”

“Doesn’t matter” Bucky mutters.

“Look, I know it’s none of my business” he says, “But you’re my friend. And so is Steve. I just need to know what happened, so maybe I can help. Help you guys fix this.”

“You can’t fix this, Tony” Bucky says, unbuttoning his shirt so he can look at the arm, “You just – can’t build a future with someone who’s stuck in the past.”

“Stuck in the past?”

“Oh, come on” he sighs, “You know what it’s like. You and Pepper. You fall in love, you date, you moved in together, get engaged. Marriage, kids. You have something to go towards, the promise of building a life together. Steve isn’t even out yet. Doesn’t want to move in with me. Should’ve known better than to fall in love with someone who carries the weight of the world on his shoulders.”

“I’m sorry” Tony says, and he sounds genuine, “For what it’s worth. I hope he’ll get his head out of his ass. But he’s always had the martyr complex going on.”

“Look, let’s change the subject” he says, “I’m trying to move on.”

“Sure” he smiles, pulling out his screwdriver and getting to work.

It’s about two hours of Tony installing updates and replacing regular materials with some kind of special material his friend Shuri supplies.

“Oh, I’ve been wanting to tell you” Bucky says, as he’s sitting up again and buttoning his shirt, “I’m moving in about a month. Was wondering if you’d like to come to the housewarming party. Pepper is welcome as well, of course.”

“Moving?”

“Yeah. I’ve been renovating a little house the past two years, It’s finally finished” he says, “So I’m going to start working freelance. Moving into my own place means I’ll need less money to get by. Kinda looking forward to that.”

“Dude, that’s awesome” he grins, “Yeah, we’ll try to be there. Send me the details.”

[…]

Getting drunk was a mistake.

It always is.

Getting drunk while packing up the last of his stuff, and coming across the box of memories with Steve, even worse.

Only made worse by a fully charged cellphone, and Steve’s smiling face still set as his lockscreen.

“Bucky?” his voice sounds so hopeful, exactly as Bucky remembers it from their last conversation.

“Stevie” he whispers, “I miss you so much.”

“Are you drunk?” he asks, Bucky doesn’t answer it.

“Why couldn’t you move in with me?” he says, “I didn’t want to do his alone, Stevie. You were supposed to be here with me, packing up everything. You were supposed to be with me, waking up together every morning, eating breakfast together, cooking dinner together. Didn’t you want that?”

“Of course I wanted that” Steve says, “I still do.”

“Then why can’t we?” he asks, a sob escaping his throat, “What’s the point of finally being free to be who you are, to love who you love, when you lock yourself inside? What’s the point of fighting for freedom if you can’t enjoy it for yourself?”

“I don’t know” he says, “I love you. I want to give you everything you want from me, Bucky.”

“Then why don’t you?” he asks, softly, “The only thing stopping you, is you.”

“Bucky, I” Steve says, Bucky takes a deep breath.

“Goodbye Stevie” he says, and then he hangs up.

He leaves the last few boxes for what they are, and makes his way to the air mattress he’s left to sleep on for the last few days before his move. He passes out almost immediately.

[…]

“How drunk did you get?” Sam asks him as he helps him load the boxes in the back of his car.

“Called my ex” he says, “Said goodbye. Cried a bit.”

“Oh, dude” Sam shakes his head, “What ex? The asshole, or mister perfect?”

“Perfect” Bucky says, screwing open his water bottle and taking a few big gulps, along with something for his headache.

“And?”

“He said he misses me” he says, “That he loves me.”

“I’m sorry dude.”

[…]

“Hey, Tony” Steve says, walking in, “Can we talk?”

“Yeah” he nods, “What’s up.”

“I was thinking about organizing a press conference to make an announcement” he says, “As soon as possible, before I change my mind.”

“What announcement?”

“I – uhm” he takes a deep breath, “Bucky. I can’t. I want to fix this.”

“How are you going to fix this?” Tony asks, looking up at his friend with a surprised and curious expression on his face.

“I am retiring” he says, “There’s enough superheroes around to save the world.”

“You’re going to give it all up for him?” Tony asks, Steve nods, “Good.”

“You’re not going to talk me out of this?” he asks, “Tell me I’m making a mistake?”

“Steve, you always fight as if you’ve got nothing to lose” Tony says, “But we don’t want to lose you. You’ve been in a war since 1940. You were at the front lines for 5 years before waking up and jumping right back in. You deserve this. I’ll ask Pepper to arrange everything.”

“Thank you, Tony.”

“Oh, uhm” he says, as Steve turns around to leave, “He’s throwing a house warming party next Saturday – in case you wanted to, I don’t know, make a big gesture to make it up to him.”

“Oh. Thanks.”

[…]

It all happens so fast.

One moment he’s starting to date Steve, imagining their future together.

And the next it’s like Bucky never even knew him.

It’s the first few warm days in February when he throws his housewarming party. Serving some drinks in the living room and the garden.

The news is playing on the TV, sound off.

It’s become a habit. Always having to be up to date, knowing is Steve is out on a mission. Even if he isn’t a part of his life anymore, he still needs to know. He’s never been good at letting go of his love.

“I didn’t know you knew Tony Stark” Sam mutters to him when he walks in.

“Yeah, dude, he does my arm check-ups” Bucky says, “We met a few years ago, when I was arrested for something after my arm malfunctioned.”

“Huh, he’s never mentioned” Sam says, making Bucky frown.

“You know Tony Stark?” Bucky asks, “What the fuck? How?”

“I know him – he kinda knows me?” Sam says, “Dude, I thought you knew? Falcon?”

“So that _is_ you?” Bucky says, “Damn – I figured you stopped after what happened with Riley. That someone else was using your wings.”

“Nah, it’s me” he says, “I just don’t do a lot of missions. Haven’t really met Tony outside of a mission. Maybe I’ll go say hi.”

He pats Bucky’s shoulder and makes his way to Tony.

“Hey” he smiles, “It’s been a while.”

Tony frowns at him, “Do I know you?” he asks, Sam snorts.

“What, you don’t recognize me without the wings?” he asks, watching recognition flicker over Tony’s face.

“Falcon” he says, “What are you doing here?”

“Bucky and I are old friends, from the VA” he says, “Where I work on regular days. And where they know me as Sam.”

“Well, Sam” Pepper smiles, “It’s nice to meet you, officially.”

“Likewise” Sam smiles, “Fury likes to pull the strings and keep us away from each other outside of missions, but he wasn’t invited to the party. So fuck him.”

“Kinda funny how Bucky ends up surrounded by superheroes” Tony snorts, Sam gives him a confused look, “You know. Me, you, Cap?”

“Cap?” it doesn’t take long for him to realize, “Wait, you telling me Bucky is the reason he’s been moping these last three months? He’s Bucky’s mister perfect?”

“You didn’t know?” Tony frowns, “I figured you and Cap are pretty close.”

“I mean – kinda? But I have a full-time job. It’s not like we see each other that much” he shrugs, “And Bucky never really shares names when his partner isn’t out.”

“Ha, didn’t know that” Tony says, “Anyways, I should probably go say hi to him. I’ll see you later!”

Tony introduces Pepper and Bucky to each other.

“So you’re the reason Steve is retiring huh” she smiles, and Bucky freezes.

“What?” he stares at her, “He’s what?”

“Oh? I thought you knew? He asked me to release a statement for him” she says, “When I asked him why he told me about you.”

“He told you?” Bucky asks, his voice almost a whisper as he says it, “Everything?”

“I don’t know if it was everything” she says, “But he said he’d met a man and fell in love. That he’d been hiding for too long, and fighting for too long. I have to say, I definitely agreed with his assessment.”

Bucky doesn’t really know how to react to the information, but he feels his head go light. He takes a deep breath, as if all the air was just forced out of his lungs and he can’t breathe.

“Hey, buddy, are you okay?” Tony asks, giving him a concerned look.

“Yeah, I just – need some fresh air.”

He wants to go to the backyard, before remembering his sister is there with his college friends – he’s not sure he can handle her concern right now. So he goes to the porch, holding onto the railing and taking a few deep breaths.

And then there’s him.

His bike parked in the driveway, next to his own.

In two steps Steve is standing right in front of him.

The windows of the house are open, everyone who’s inside can see them.

“Is it true?” Bucky asks, “What Pepper told me? Is it true?”

“Yes, sweetheart” he says, reaching out to hold Bucky’s hands in his.

“Stevie – I can’t let you. Not for me” he shakes his head, “I’m not worth it.”

“You are though” Steve says, “But I’m not doing it just for you. I’m doing it for me.”

“I –“

“No. This time I get to do the talking” he says, “Meeting you, getting to be with you, it was the first time I remember being happy in a long time. I haven’t felt this way about anyone since my mom was still alive. And then you showed me this place, an entire future that I can spend with you. And I got so scared, Bucky. I haven’t been allowed to have anything for myself in a long time. And then I said no. And you were right to be mad at me. You were right to say you wanted more. And I want more – I want so much more – with you.”

“Stevie, please.”

“I just didn’t know if I could have it” he continues, ignoring Bucky’s interruption, “I figured walking away was the best thing to do. To let you go, find some other fella to build a life with. Someone who could give you those things. And it didn’t matter how unhappy that made me. It didn’t matter. Because this way I could make you happy and still be there for every person that needed me.”

“You don’t have to – not for me.”

“NO, Bucky!” he says, “It’s not for you. You made me see it. Don’t you get it? I was okay, I thought I was okay. It didn’t matter that everyone told me I was looking like hell. It didn’t matter that Tony called me an idiot after you told him what happened. Because I was so sure I was making you happy. And then you called me and – and you. You said the only thing holding me back from being happy was myself. And for so long, I’d been telling myself it was everyone else. Because they needed me. But they don’t, Bucky. There’s so many superheroes out there. Spiderman, Tony, Falcon, Black Widow, Thor, Carol, there’s so many. And there’s amazing people – like you – running to save the day when needed. They don’t need me. You needed me. And I wasn’t there. _I need you_.”

“Stevie – don’t mess with me” he says, voice shaking.

“Bucky. I’ve been missing you since the last time we stood here – 3 months – and I’ve been counting the seconds. Planning a future where I could be what you needed me to be. So will you have me? Will you love me? Will you kiss me?”

“In front of all my friends?” he asks, a clear question to find out if Steve’s ready to be out.

He takes a step closer, resting his forehead against Bucky’s, his hand on the back of his neck, and then pulls him in for a kiss.

Just like their first kiss.

A lot of promises and hopes poured into one kiss.

Promises of a future.

Together.

Sitting together, on this porch, growing old next to each other.

**Author's Note:**

> So TS released an album and I love it. I was supposed to see her perform last month, but obviously that didn't happen.  
> But her album inspired me to write this.  
> Let me know what songs you recognized. And what references.  
> Thanks for reading.  
> I hope you enjoyed it :) 
> 
> (there might be an epilogue, but can't promise it yet)


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